What kind of man am I?

I was reading a story for my pastoral ministry class the other day and it became something more than just interesting concepts or practical insights. God spoke to me. He spoke to me about what kind of man I want to be. What kind of man he wants me to be.
The story was written by a pastor named, Robertson McQuilkin. He used to be the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary in South Carolina. He left the college after his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He left so that he could take care of her. The article was about his choice between ministry and his family. In the end he concluded that it wasn’t much of a choice because the college needed more than a part-time distracted leader and he had made a vow to his wife. Even though it was probably very difficult to care for a woman who no longer understood who he was or who she was, he called taking care of her a delight. He said that he did not have to take care of her… he got to take care of her. As her mind began to fade she still knew that she loved him and she lived in happy oblivion to everything else.
As I read the article I put myself first in McQuilkin’s place and then in his wife’s place. I concluded that I want to be the kind of man that gets to take care of his wife when she can’t take care of herself. It is not that I would ever desire such a difficult situation, but if it ever came, I want to know that I would do what is right, and I would love that way. I think I would. That’s where God was speaking to me. I’ve often thought about marriage, even though I rarely admit it. Usually my conclusion is that I need to stop looking for a wife and focus on being a man worth marrying. As I read this story, I began to realize that even though I have much farther to go, I am beginning to become that man. I realized that I could love this way, not because I’m good enough, but because God has done something in me. He has changed me. He is continuing to change me and I am sure I have a lot to deal with before I am ready for marriage, but I have definitely changed. I also put myself in the place of the author’s wife. I can’t imagine the feelings of helplessness that would come with this kind of illness. I want to know that whoever I marry would stand by me if something like this ever happened. Unfortunately, I have no idea where this woman is. I don’t think I can go looking for her though. I realize that the willingness to love unconditionally isn’t simply a trait I need to look for in a woman, it’s something I need to live out. I need to be able to love unconditionally.
That is what struck me so hard when I was reading this story. The author loved his wife unconditionally. I know that’s something that seems obvious and we all act like it’s what we mean when we say, “I do.” But I don’t know if we understand the implications of something like this. She was no longer anything she was when he married her. He had to watch his wife slowly die. She was no longer the vibrant, creative, articulate person he knew and loved. So am I looking for a vibrant, creative, articulate woman, or am I looking to be a loving and committed man?