Daren Howard

First Thanksgiving Married

2011-11-24T10:46:00.001-08:00

Jackie is hard at work in Nana's kitchen. I occasionally help wash dishes, chop vegitables, or reach for stuff on the top shelf. This is our first married Thanksgiving and we are spending it with my family in Manteca. Also, shes real cute in her apron.

Book Reflection: Deep Justice in a Broken World

2011-11-23T11:37:00.000-08:00

Chap Clark and Kara E. Powell of the Fuller Youth Institute published a book in 2007 that, I hope, makes the pursuit of justice within the reach and understanding of every youth minister. There are solid development principals throughout this book (or so my wife tells me), but the language is simplified. The content of this book is also multi-disciplinary. The authors employ basic biblical studies, education theory, ministry experience and more. Topics explored include racial reconciliation, economic justice and very practical, useful, advice on how to mobilize youth.
The greatest strength of this book is how clear it makes it that moving toward justice with youth means more than service projects and short term mission trips. Not only do the authors call these practices into question, but they provide tangible steps toward helping youth find their own ways to right wrongs.
I also especially enjoyed the interviews in the book. At the end of every chapter, the authors ask a leader in the field a few questions regarding the topic of that chapter. Some contributors are experienced youth leaders; others are experts in development or famous church leaders. Their contributions put heart into the very practical content of the book. They also share some very moving stories.
This book, and its companion, Deep Ministry in a Shallow World, are not the most well written books about youth ministry available, but they are must reads. The conversations that can come from this content can help us to develop healthy youth ministries that shape young lives and serve the communities around us.

Book Reflection: Deep Ministry in a Shallow World

2011-11-23T11:23:00.000-08:00

I recently read a book called Deep Ministry in a Shallow World by Chap Clark and Kara E. Powell. This book was published in 2006, but I read it recently after perusing the website of the Fuller Youth Institute. Our church has been having some exciting conversations about the youth ministry recently, and it was necessary that I do some reading on the subject.
While the writing is not great, and the design of the book is obnoxious, the content is quite valuable. For example, in the first chapter the authors explore the usual shallow solutions to the challenges faced in youth ministry. Their first observation of common shallow solutions: more of the same. The authors provide an example of the thought process that may lead to a fallacy such as this. “Small groups on Sunday’s aren’t clicking, but that’s because the students don’t know one another all that well. If they met on Tuesday nights, then we could move past pseudo-community and into real life relationships” We often decide what we need is more; more leaders, more money, more time, etc. In reality, most of us simply need to stop and listen. We need to listen to students, parents, and the Lord. In my assessment, the most valuable aspect of this book is the way it causes the reader to look into the mirror. This text also provides many practical examples of what a youth leader might be able to do in order to move into a deeper ministry.
There are two glaring omissions from this book, and they are not the weird sidebar prompts or the overuse of the infinity symbol in their diagrams (though both are glaring). First, there is little call for personal growth and deep change in the youth minister. For this subject, I would recommend a short book by Eugene Peterson (author of The Message) called Working the Angles. The other glaring omission is the call of the church, and youth ministry, to work towards justice. For this, I would recommend a book by the same authors, Chap Clark and Kara E. Powell. In 2007, they published Deep Justice in a Broken World. I will be reflecting on this book next.

Coaching as Volunteer Development in the Church

2011-10-25T22:37:00.000-07:00

This is the first of a series of posts I have rolling around my brain that will help me tie the work I have been doing the past couple of years with my future as a church leader. I do not have a clear picture yet of all that God will call me to, but I do have dreams of leading a church in efforts to serve the community in practical ways. The first area I would like to explore is staff development. My work in the non-profit sector and in education has helped me grow in the area of staff development and training others. This post will explore what it might be like to implement staff development strategies in the church context to train volunteers and develop emerging leaders.

Staff Development in a Church?
Staff development is a part of my job, but more than that… I see staff development having a place in the church. I know how that may sound, but not everything the church endeavors to do will be things the congregation is already qualified to do. I dream of a church where we are an integral part of the community. I envision a church not only offering a place to worship and a sense of community, but economic development, educational services and more.

I know that for most churches, these endeavors will be outside of most people’s experience. This should not deter us in pursuing all that God calls us to as a community. Usually, we can find a few people who do know how to do what God is calling us to, so we simply need to make space for them to share their experience with the rest of the congregation. That way, we can all serve in whatever God calls our church to. Effective training in all of our efforts is an important part of what the church does. The things church leaders ask of the congregation may be completely novel to them. If this is the case, leaders will want to set their church up for success. If church members don’t experience success at new outreach endeavors, they may not be willing to try the next time. Success is an important boost to morale.

In order for the church to be effective in outreach and service, it must provide church members, staff, and volunteers with adequate training. The training strategy I propose is based on a learning theory called the gradual release of responsibility. The implementation of this theory attempts to shift the responsibility for one’s own learning from the teacher to the pupil(s). In staff development, this is called coaching and it is done in the context of project based learning. A staff member is taught how to do something and then led along while they implement what they learned until they are ready to do this on their own. Before they are released, they collaborate with others on a project that helps them refine their skills while simultaneously serving the community.

A Picture of Coaching

This is an approach to teaching that is best explained with an image of a childhood cliché. Picture a father teaching his child to ride a bike. He shows them what it is like to ride a bike by giving them tricycles and training wheels. Then takes them off, holds the back of the seat and runs alongside his child. At some point he lets go. His pride is unmistakable. He slows down and watches as they ride on their own. “I’m doing it!” the child stereotypically cries. When they have the inevitable crash, Dad picks them up wipes their scrapes, kisses them, and encourages them to try again. Let this be our method for teaching. Let the father teaching his kid to ride a bike be how we equip and empower our church members. Through coaching, we get to participate in the learning of church volunteers and then look on with pride as they “get it.”

For the purposes of volunteer development in the church, the four stages of coaching are: modeling, guiding, collaboration and independence. In modeling, the leader shows the emerging leader(s) how to perform a task, strategy or skill. In guiding, the leader works with the emerging leaders to practice the skill. In collaboration, the emerging leaders create a project that helps them practice the skills they have learned. Lastly, in the independent practice stage, emerging leaders are released to serve and demonstrate their competence. During this stage, leaders observe this practice and help emerging leaders make small changes to their strategies as they go along.

Coaching in the Church
For these strategies to be effective emerging leaders must be paired with established leaders who have something to pass along. Established leaders would benefit in being trained in these teaching strategies to ensure that they are successful in sharing what they know and who they are. The job of a leader is to work themselves out of a job – replacing themselves and sharing control with emerging leaders. It should also be stated that this strategy, taken from professional staff development, is best implemented in small groups. These are not the mega church small groups of the last two decades, but a balanced combination of spiritual nurturing groups and professional learning communities. During this process skills and knowledge can be shared and deep personal growth can be reached in a community. This is not a method for helping people grow spiritually or in terms of maturity. The goal of coaching is to help develop the practical skills of volunteers in the church.

The implementation of these strategies must be “above board.” In other words, everyone involved must know that this is taking place. From the newest volunteer to the eldest leader, all are eligible to be trained in some way and all are eligible to train someone else. This is not a comment on spiritual maturity, but on professional development for lack of a better word. These strategies can be used to equip volunteers and develop interns. This will help each new endeavor be successful and it will help interns draw valuable experience from their service within the church so that they can add value to the communities God calls them to.

Interns, Apprentices, and Volunteers
I would suggest that internship be the most formal context for the implementation of coaching. I would propose that a church internship program would have specific goals and a leadership that is competent in the implementation of coaching strategies. Interns could work through a particular coursework of topics that have been deemed important for interns to learn, but as long as the number of interns is manageable, I would suggest that they set their own goals for growth based on their life goals. In contrast, apprenticeship is a personal relationship that an emerging leader might have with a pastor. Interns should work in cohorts of no more than 10 individuals. There must be room for them to collaborate and help each other grow.

Volunteer development would be a completely different category. I would suggest that coaching strategies be taught to department leaders in a 3-5 session training experience that implements the strategies (modeling them for those who will implement them). Afterward, department leaders should implement coaching strategies with those who serve in their departments. A staff member competent in coaching strategies might be required to function like a consultant. While this person may not be the best teacher when training someone to run the sound board or plan an event, they may be able to help those who are skilled in any area teach others.

Obstacles and Benefits
Each church may face some difficulties in implementing the coaching strategy for volunteer and leadership development. First, these strategies will be new to some and must be learned first. Second, it may be difficult for those who are younger to train those who are generally more experienced than themselves. While one can look to the wisdom of elders, we must collaborate with humility. Lastly, implementing a formalized training technique could stifle relationships, especially if the church is to grow numerically at the same time. It will be vital for the church to fit training into the life of the church rather than creating hierarchal or managerial relationships. This is a reason why training is best conducted in teams rather than mentor relationships. In teams we are able to foster a sense of community while avoiding leading from a position of authority. This difficultly will be possible to overcome in a church that has already developed a culture of collaboration.

It can be argued that the benefits of implementing coaching strategies in a church would outweigh the obstacles. If the church can add structure to its methods for staff and volunteer development it will be able to ensure success in whatever new endeavors they face. Success will build a sense of self-efficacy in church members. They will have confidence in their ability to represent Christ in whatever way they are able to serve the community.

I would also suggest that a formalized internship program that offers demonstrated growth and teaches new skills will attract new people to a congregation. Churches may find that a quality internship program will cause college students, youth and those pursuing a call to ministry or community development to flock to the church. An internship program can present itself as an alternative to age based suburban church programs. It is the church’s diversity and love for one another that shows Christ to the world, but this may not attract a hopeful and optimistic workforce, passionate for personal growth and societal change. The church must make a space for these people if we hope to add to the value of the cities we live in.

Goals for Implementation
I would propose several short and long term goals for any church considering implementing coaching strategies in their church’s training methods. First, a church should train its members for each upcoming event. Most events fit the larger purposes of the church and are not standalone events. A good place to start would be a training session for volunteers, the trainer walking around during the event to check for understanding and implementation of directives, and a debrief follow up to perfect strategies for next time.

My second recommendation would be to develop a basic structure for apprenticeship and internships for the coming year. If a church has several prospective interns it must create a place for them. During the first year, this would likely still be an individualized rather than formalized program, but training would be intentional.

My third recommendation would be to implement a basic training for department leaders. This would be highly encouraged for anyone who teaches or trains others. It would be mandatory for anyone who leads a department and is not yet conscious of this need.

My fourth recommendation would be to develop a formal internship program that functions like an educational program; with customizable coursework, and training sessions delivered by the most competent people the church has available in each subject. The real learning however, would not happen in the classroom, but in service.

Learning and Growth through Service
The church will learn and grow while they serve, but people will not learn and grow simply because they serve. They must be intentional in helping each other grow, not just spiritually, but in service. With training, they will be effective in their service. This will give them confidence to develop a deeper life of service instead of an act of service. Through a lifestyle of service will we see the kingdom of God and expressions of God’s redeeming grace. The divine perspective is not from above, up in heaven; it is from below, washing feet.

THINK Together Students, Homelessness, and You

2011-10-18T07:08:00.000-07:00

On November 19th, I will be taking the students from my after school program to Exposition Park to participate in the United Way’s HomeWalk. We have been doing this for a few years, and the United Way is one of our community partners. The following information is lifted right off the HomeWalk LA website for your convenience. We will see you there.

What is HomeWalk?
HomeWalk is United Way of Greater Los Angeles’ annual 5K Run/Walk to End Homelessness. Each year thousands join together to do their part by fundraising and spreading the word that homelessness is a solvable problem.

Why HomeWalk?
In Los Angeles County 51,000 people are homeless. Wages have not kept up with housing costs. Over the past 20 years, only the top 1% of salaried workers have seen significant income growth. Our percentage of working poor is higher than the U.S. as a whole. We’re the homeless capital of the nation. The number one reason for homelessness is losing a job, and L.A. County unemployment is in double digits for the first time since May 1993. The HomeWalk funds focused on ending homelessness among 2 populations; the chronically homeless, who are the most costly segment, and families who represent the fastest growing segment.

How does the United Way help?
All money raised through HomeWalk is distributed back into the community to help quickly re‐house homeless families and provide permanent supportive housing to our most vulnerable, chronically homeless individuals and veterans. Over the past 4 years, HomeWalk has mobilized 18,000 walkers, raised $1.7 million and funded organizations that have moved 9,000 people into permanent housing.

The United Way believes that our community must focus on housing people first while giving them access to support services such as health and mental health treatment. This “emerging model” was designed to move people into housing quickly while giving them the supportive services necessary to stay there. In this model shelters are used as very short-term housing only. Housing homeless families and individuals will do more than manage the problem, it will solve it.

How Can We End Homelessness?
The number one reason for homelessness is loss of a job. With our region’s unemployment at the highest it’s been in a decade it’s not surprising that we are the homeless capital of the nation and that 40% of the homeless population are women and children.
We can end chronic, veteran and family homelessness by moving people into housing quickly while giving them the necessary services to remain there. This permanent supportive housing model has drastically reduced homelessness in cities like New York and Denver, and it’s 43% more cost effective with an 80% success rate of people staying off the streets for good. HomeWalk is an opportunity for our community to come together to raise funds and hope for a better future. Join us by participating, volunteering and/or recruiting others. Together we will end homelessness.

Register To Walk and Fundraise
Go to www.homewalkla.org to register online and start fundraising by asking ten people for $10.

Event Information
Saturday, November 19th
Exposition Park
700 Exposition Park Blvd
Los Angeles, CA 90037

Important Info
Registration Opens: 7:00am
Opening Program: 8:30am
Run/Walk Begins: 9:00am
Registration fee for walkers and runners is $25.
Minors (under 18) are free.

Employment August

2010-08-11T14:59:00.000-07:00

This summer I had the privilege of working for THINK Together’s summer program in Santa Ana again. Despite the long commute I had a positive experience working out there last summer. Last year I was faced with an experience I called “Unemployment August.” For one month after the summer program I did not have a job until the new school year started. This was a difficult month financially, but it was a great month for Jackie and I because we got to spend a lot of time together. This year, I was not faced with the prospect of unemployment. Instead I was promoted to a full time position.
I recently became a Site Coordinator at a Middle School in Baldwin Park. The school year will start August 30th. I am spending the next month hiring my staff and getting ready. For my first month as a site coordinator I helped run a summer program in Santa Ana. I was actually assigned to be a program leader at this site, but when I was hired on for my new position I got to help run the site instead.
This was a great experience. I was paired with another LA site coordinator, Mark, and he showed me the ropes. He was a great help and we had a great staff. Here are some pictures from this summer’s program.

Engagement!

2010-06-17T09:55:00.001-07:00

So I know I have all but ignored this blog for a while now. I’ve not just gotten lazy. I have been writing some personal projects that people will probably never see and the blog has taken a backseat. But now I have a reason to come running back to writing in a medium others can read...
We are engaged!
Jackie and I have decided to get married. We are planning on setting the date for sometime next spring. That would be March, April or May of 2011. I love this woman, and spring sounds like an eternity away, but there are some practical considerations, like location, for us to figure out before we set a date. When we do I will let everyone know. So for the next year much of what you read on my blog, if you are unfortunate enough to be following it, will be about this task of planning a wedding. Hopefully I will still have a life and write about other things. A lot has happened in the past few months that I have not bothered writing about here. I probably won’t spend the time catching you up on all that. I am too excited about the future.

Francis Chan on Safe Christianity

2010-02-04T10:00:00.000-08:00

"The Girl" by City and Colour

2009-10-23T12:38:00.000-07:00

I wish I could do better by you,
'cause that's what you deserve
You sacrifice so much of your life
In order for this to work.

While I'm off chasing my own dreams
Sailing around the world
Please know that I'm yours to keep
My beautiful girl

When you cry a piece of my heart dies
Knowing that I may have been the cause
If you were to leave
Fulfill someone else's dreams
I think I might totally be lost

You don't ask for no diamond rings
No delicate string of pearls
That's why I wrote this song to sing
My beautiful girl

First time having my photography published (sort of)

2009-10-02T09:04:00.001-07:00

One of my photos from the Aquarium of the Pacific in Long Beach has been used in some sort of online travel guide. I'm not sure if this counts as being published, especially since I've never even heard of Schmap, but it's still kind of cool.

I also learned from this website that the plural form of the word aquarium is aquaria. Who knew?

Union Station with Jaclyn

2009-09-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

On Monday Jackie and I went to Union Station in LA to take some photos. We had a great time. These are just a few. I'm going to save most of them for other projects. You might see them at some point. There are more on my facebook profile. Here are a few of my favorites:

Everyone! Come see how good looking my girlfriend is!

This one is one of me that she took. She's a better model and a better photographer.

This one is probably my favorite from the day.

This one might be a bit dramatic, but it was fun to take.
That's it for now.

Photos from the Think Together field trip to The Aquarium of the Pacific

2009-08-26T21:36:00.000-07:00

Think Together showed some of my pictures from the field trip to the aquarium on the company blog. You can see the original post here, but I have put the slideshow here on my blog as well.

The new school year is starting and I am excited to be working in Azusa. I have a bit of senioritis in terms of college. I am simply not that excited to start another year at LPC, but I have come to love my job and I am excited about that.

I have this sneaking suspicion there is a God

2009-06-23T15:29:00.000-07:00

I have been a Christian since about halfway through high school. I believe, but I have always figured that maybe I could be wrong. It doesn’t hurt to believe, and worst case scenario, I am wrong and there is no God. No big deal I guess. But God seems to be revealing himself to me.

He keeps doing stuff like providing for me. I thought I would never be able to go to college. So when I signed up for Life Pacific, I wasn’t even remotely sure how I would pay for it. After filling out all my financial aid paperwork and even getting a few scholarships I crossed my fingers. Then one day I got a letter in the mail that itemized all the aid I qualified for and everything was paid for. I got the maximum amount of financial aid, and the rest was covered by my scholarships.

Since then, he has done it again.

My grandmother sent me a check in the mail the other day. She was worried about me because I hadn’t found a summer job yet. I have since found a job, but when the check came I thought I might be able to get away with not using it. I didn’t want to use her money if I didn’t need to.

Then I wrecked my car.

I hit this piece of metal on the freeway. It seemed like it came out of nowhere. It probably fell off of a truck, but I never saw which one. So I hit it with my front driver side wheel. It bent the wheel, tore apart the tire, and bent the bumper and wheel well guard. I pulled to the side of the freeway and no one was hurt, but I thought I had seriously damaged my car. The check my grandma had sent me a few days before was for 200 dollars. Guess how much the repairs to my car cost.

197 dollars.

So I maintain this sneaking suspicion that there may be a God. I do not want to suggest that he micromanages our lives and has everything worked out. People make mistakes, tragedies happen, and God doesn’t seem to be there. I do not have an answer for that. Still, if there is really a God, I think he might care about me. I could be wrong… but maybe I am right. Maybe there is a God… and maybe he cares about me… Have you ever had similar experiences? Am I crazy? What if I am right?

Think Together After School Programs

2009-06-07T16:18:00.000-07:00

This is what I do. I love doing it. I am hoping I can continue to do it over the summer. If not, I will be back at it next fall.

Spiritual Gifts class at Pasadena Foursquare Church

2009-05-25T14:36:00.000-07:00

“Why didn’t you say teaching?” Pastor Ralph asked me. I mumbled something about having considered it, but not being sure. I realized afterward that while that was true, the real reason was that it scares me.

I took a spiritual gifts class at my church this week. For those of you that are unfamiliar with the Pentecostal side of Christianity, we believe that God gives everyone spiritual gifts for the benefit of the church. He might give someone the gift of prophecy or teaching or administration. It doesn’t have to be anything hyper-spiritual or anything like that, it is just part of the way we serve each other.

Honestly though, I’m not very Pentecostal. Church history can be an embarrassing thing and Pentecostal history is embarrassingly anti-intellectual. I also tend to be uncomfortable with spirituality. It is odd because so many people in my generation claim to be “spiritual, but not religious.” For a Christian, I am neither. I am, as anyone reading this would know, a Christian, but I’m not very religious. And most days I am not very comfortable with spirituality. I am simply a very rational person. I have encountered a real God, who loves me and I want to be obedient to him. That doesn’t mean I am going to suddenly be weird.

Thankfully, my spiritual gifts aren’t particularly weird. I would not be comfortable with something like prophecy. It always sounds so hyper-spiritual. My most obvious spiritual gift is administration. I want things to be organized because I can see that that helps people serve God and minister to each other. I might also have the gift of words of wisdom. Which sounds weird, but I think I am ok with it. I am very rational, but I have learned that true wisdom comes from obedience to God. I’m still learning this.

But as we discussed what we thought our spiritual gifts might be, I left out teaching. I don’t think I did it consciously; I just didn’t bring it up. So when Pastor Ralph asked why I didn’t say it, I didn’t really know what to say. I’ve been going back and forth on this whole teaching thing for months in terms of a career move, but that’s a much bigger deal than acknowledging a gift for teaching. I think I do have the gift of teaching. I care about the why and how of everything we do, and I want to explain that to those around me. I don’t know what I am going to do about school and this whole career thing, but I think I will always teach in one way or another. Right now I just don’t feel like I know very much. I can be organized and administrative, but wisdom and teaching both feel a little scary.

People Watching

2009-05-12T22:21:00.000-07:00

So I'm "reading" at Statbucks (people watching), and I see a guy walk in wearing an MIT shirt. I think to myself, "Why doesn't he just wear a tshirt that simply says smart because that's what he is advertising?" Then he turns around after ordering his drink and the back of his shirt says, "Because everyone can go to Caltech." Awesome.

His shirt is a status symbol, except he's not advertising his wealth.

Just when I think my people watching can't get any better I see someone wearing pink out of the corner of my eye. No. I see two people wearing pink. One is a young woman. She's pretty, her hair is up and perfectly in place. She has expensive looking shoes. Next to her is a woman who is looks like she is in her sixties. She is wearing the identical pink blazer. Her hair is up as well, but it is frayed and messy and her shoes are simple. There is something comical about this pair of women, who did not come in together. You can't set up these things.

I wonder if the young woman knows she just got a glimpse into her own future.

This is how I spent my evening. Observing humanity at the Starbucks in Passdena. Am I creepy? Do you do this as well? Either way, I'm begining to love living in Pasadena.

Where the Wild Things Are

2009-05-07T18:34:00.000-07:00

I have until tomorrow to get a release from my doctor to let me go back to work. He is on vacation until Tuesday. I called his office like 8 times. Im sure it will work out.

Pallets

2009-05-06T21:52:00.001-07:00

What's in your alleyway? Recycling bins or bullet cases?

Broken Bench

2009-05-05T12:06:00.001-07:00

Sure it is not functional anymore, but there is something about this bench that intrigues me. It is both ornate and poorly designed. It is broken, yet it remains. There are four other benches in the same area and it is not a park or bus stop. I wonder if they will replace it or just remove it... Personally, I would leave it. I like it the way it is.

My First Day of Physical Therapy

2009-05-04T14:08:00.000-07:00

This might be the most sketchy looking place ever. It is in the basement of some medical building. Still, in a few months my leg might work again. That would be cool.

Actually I forgot... It is our leg now.... Lewis and I are a plural entity.

Day 3

2009-05-03T12:26:00.001-07:00

A Trash Can Named Smurf

2009-05-02T13:06:00.000-07:00

The Front Porch

2009-05-01T21:43:00.001-07:00

I've been fiddling with my camera all day because it is broken. As usual, I do not have the funds to get it repaired anytime soon. Fortunately it still works, the lens just sticks and the flash is broken. This evening I noticed an abandoned tricycle on my porch and streamers from some party I do not remember anyone having. I thought it was a weird scene. I might get the flash on my camera repaired and a new lens, but since the camera works it will be a while. I would love to replace it with something newer and nicer, but in the end that is more materialistic than I am used to being, and of course it would cost a bit more money than I can justify spending. Unless anyone is interested in buying a broken camera from me?

Video from my Knee Surgery

2009-04-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

My Knee Surgery from Daren Howard on Vimeo.

Eating My Own Words on Civil Disobedience as Sacramento's Homeless are Evicted

2009-04-16T21:18:00.000-07:00

Here's where I eat my own words on the issue of civil disobedience. My last post, which I wrote earlier today condemned those who participated in civil disobedience so that their voices would be heard on the bailouts. I maintain my previously stated opinion. I think it is wrong for people to stage dramatic demonstrations against our political leaders over tax policy. I feel this way because as a Christian I am called to not behave that way. I think it is wrong for non-Christians as well because it is immature and selfish.

Here's where I eat my words... The "residents" of Sacramento's tent city are being evicted. To me this is an injustice. These people have nowhere to go. Those who have already been removed have simply relocated and formed another tent city. The Mayor of Sacramento is initiating plans to expand the homeless services and shelters, but not before having the people forcibly removed. Those who remain are planning to participate in their own form of civil disobedience. And who are they led by? A religious leader. Her name is Sister Frenandez and she runs an organization that helps the homeless called Loaves and Fishes. She is Jesus' representative in this mess and while I know it is presumptuous to suggest that she is doing what Jesus would do, she is certainly doing what I would do. My hometown is about an hour away from Sacramento. This is clearly not my fight, I am still recovering from surgery and Pasadena to Sacramento is a long drive with a three foot brace on my leg, but I think if circumstances were different I would be there too. Still, assuming of course that these people want her help, she is their advocate and she is willing to be arrested for their cause.

So am I a hypocrite? Do I say one thing and do another? I ask that people would submit to political leaders, then when faced with the plight of the poor, I would do anything but submit. Maybe I am a hypocrite, but I think this is different. First of all let me say that the media and blogging community needs to stop pointing out the celebrity status of our political leaders. It does not disqualify them for leadership any more than it qualifies them for leadership. Secondly, I must admit that I do not know which fight is "right." It is possible that those who oppose the President's tax policies are right. He could be ruining the country by not listening to them. I simply do not know anything about these sorts of things. His policies are aimed at fixing this problem on a larger scale, but then so are the ideas of the Republican protestors. Sister Frenandez is not trying to fix the country. She just wants these people to have a safe and legal option. He fight is simpler. I understand it, and maybe that is the cause for my bias. Still, I said a few hours ago that Christians must do their best to be above civil disobedience, remaining humble and submissive. Now as this story presents itself to me, I feel compelled to civil disobedience on behalf of those who God loves, the poor and oppressed.

I do not envy the homeless, this nun, political leaders, or the police who have to remove these people whether they want to or not. Watch the story with me as it unfolds over the next few days. I am dealing with this as it is happening and I would invite you to deal with it with me.

In Response to the Recent "Tea Party" Protests

2009-04-16T12:48:00.000-07:00

Recently, some republicans have been staging what they call "tea party" protests demanding lower taxes and less government spending. These protests seem to be an attempt at initiating a popular revolt against President Obama. You can read the LA Times article about it here.

The article basically says that while most Americans support the Presidents spending policies so far, people are more concerned with jobs than taxes. Despite this, the Republican demonstrators are protesting the recent bailouts and increased government spending. I will not pretend to know how to best fix the economy, but in my opinion it does not matter. As the economy falls apart we as individuals are responsible for our actions.

In America it is not only our right to protest bad leadership, it is our duty. American was founded by people who were revolting against their own government. This is the foundation for our country, but it is not necessarily the right way to respond to politicians we disagree with. At some of these recent protests the actions of the protesters have been peaceful, but some disturbing imagery has been used. At one event that was connected to these recent protests but was in opposition to Governor Schwarzenegger, a conservative opposed to his policies held a plastic sword that was piercing a hollow rubber Schwarzenegger head. The man said, "We need to punish him for what he's done." In my opinion Governor Schwarzenegger has been an embarrassment to California and has failed miserably at his duty as Governor. He needs our active support to fix the condition of the state, and in the places where he has failed he needs us to elect someone better. Our state needs us to elect someone better.

When your candidate does not win there is no sense in whining about it. Inciting rebellion and encouraging revolt over money is not the way to respond to leadership you disagree with. I happen to agree with President Obama's policies so far and I do not agree with Governor Schwazenegger's policies. My role as a Christian is to submit to their leadership and pray for them regardless of whether or not I agree with them. In Romans 13:1 Paul writes, “Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God.” Paul is saying that everyone, and especially Christians, must submit to civil authorities because they are established by God. I am not suggesting that there are not exceptions to this rule, but I would point out that the rule for Christians is to submit.

Stereotypically the Republican party is often associated with American Christianity. I hope that those who are participating in these "Tea Parties" are Republicans, but not Christians. This is not the way Christians should respond to leadership they disagree with, especially when the concern is over money.

I am not sure where the line is to be drawn exactly for when a Christian can and cannot participate in civil disobedience. Was the resistance of the South African church during Apartheid acceptable in light of this passage? Would disobedience to Hitler in Nazi Germany have been appropriate? Was the passive resistance of Doctor Martin Luther King Jr. an acceptable action for a Christian leader? It seems to be that there is a delicate balance to being an American Christian, because in America we are encouraged to fight tyrannical leadership, but as Christians, we are called to submit in humility. For me the line will be drawn at issues of justice, not issues of the wallet. I may oppose leadership that justifies the suffering of the innocent, the denial of human rights or war, but I simply do not see any justification for this kind of behavior when the concern is taxes.

Of course this is quite un-American of me. American was founded by people who were fighting unfair taxes more than anything else. Tax policy is an important issue, but I do not think it is as important as our attitude towards our leaders. What do Christians want more, political power or to honor God with our actions? If you find yourself disagreeing with a politician, that is fine, but is the way you express your opinion honoring God or does it deny him? I find myself disagreeing with political leaders often enough, but I want to be loving and generous more than I want my voice to be heard. Do you think God is worried about our economy? I think God is worried about how we will respond to our economic situation.

The Vulnerability of the Operating Room

2009-04-15T10:31:00.001-07:00

For those of you that don't know I had knee surgery on Monday. They replaced my ACL. I am recovering fine. Just a little bit of pain and discomfort, but I'm enjoying the break from school and work.
The surgery itself was an experience I will never forget. I don't think I have ever felt so vulnerable and alone. As I waited, each nurse and administrator along the way asked if I had any family with me. Each time I had to say no. But I was also able to say that I had a friend picking me up when it was over. My friend, Sarah, has been great through all this. She gave up her day to come take me home, and she's been coming by the house to help me out each day since. My roomate, Joel, has also been great. He has to work in the afternoons, but he spends every morning making sure I have eaten and have everything I need. Still, the time at the hospital felt very lonely because I was so far from my family.
It was also a terribly humbling exerience. They laid me down on a gurney with no clothes on other than a hospital gown and a blanket. They stretched out my arms crucifixion style, with an IV in one arm and a heart rate monitor on the other. Then they set the blanket to the side and a man, with a beard that can only be described as a pirate beard, proceeded to shave my leg. I have never before felt so vulnerable. Naked, arms outstretched, with a man shaving my leg.
On a more positive note, they gave me a machine that water cools my leg and a giant brace that runs the length of my leg. I feel like a robot. In honor of this I have decided to name my new tendon, since it is from someone else's body after all. I'm sticking with the robot theme and naming it after Robocop's partner Lewis. This way instead of refering to my self as "I" I can refer to myself as "we." by refering to myself as a plural entity We think this whole thing will be much more fun.

The Eviction of Sacramento's Homeless

2009-03-20T12:50:00.000-07:00

This morning I am supposed to be working on my theology homework. It is about the doctrine of election. Yesterday I cared about this topic. Today I don’t. I want to. I know it is important, and I need to get my homework done, but there is something more important on my mind. This morning I read an article in the LA Times about Sacramento’s tent city. If you haven’t heard about this, read the article here. This is front page news and because of that the city has decided to shut the tent city down. It has been open for about a year and the living conditions are terrible. The article was striking to me because this tent city is reminiscent of the hoovervilles of the depression. The people here are not all the stereotypical homeless.

Many are recession victims, people who wouldn’t normally be homeless, but are now homeless because of the economic situation. The city has ignored this problem for a year as far as I know, and now they are set to close the tent city by the end of April. Some might say this is a feasible solution. I’m not sure. Won’t shutting down the area simply relocate the homeless? I don’t have all the answers, but I know that the recent rise in homelessness is a symptom of a much greater problem. I am at a loss as to what the right response is, but I realized today that relocation can’t be it.

I came to this realization because of a bus stop bench.

This morning I went to Starbucks to get my aforementioned homework done and I passed by the same bus stop bench that I always pass by. On most days this bench is occupied by a particular homeless man. I will admit that I do not know his name, and have not spoken to him much. We have only shared a passing hello, but he always seems to be there. This morning he was not there, but I still took particular notice of the bench. I noticed it because for a while it has had a clothing advertisement on the side that shows a woman who is barely clothed. Now this is a pet peeve of mine for reasons that are completely unrelated to this story, but come on it’s a clothing advertisement, she should probably be clothed. So I passed by the empty bench and found myself annoyed with the sign. I worked in Starbucks for several hours, but as I took a break I read the article in the LA Times about Sacramento’s tent city. My heart burned and I was completely distracted from my work.

On a side note, is God speaking to me supposed to feel like ADHD?

I don’t know, but I do think God has been speaking to me today. I walk out of Starbucks and the bench is GONE. It’s as if it were never there. I look around in disbelief and I see the usual homeless resident of the bench across the street at another bench. He has several friends with him who also look homeless. Everything suddenly falls into place for me. I don’t know this man’s name or why he is homeless. I don’t know if he needs help, because that is not an easy thing to ask a stranger. But I do know he is not going anywhere. I don’t know why the city of Pasadena would remove a bus stop bench, but I know that the result was the simple relocation of a man, and he didn’t go far. It’s almost impressive how quickly this bench was removed. It was there at nine, and was gone at eleven-thirty. If Sacramento removes this tent city, it must have an answer for how it will help these people. Otherwise upwards of two hundred people will simply relocate, and they won’t go far.

I doubt very many people will read this post as it is kind of long, but if you are reading this… yes I am aware of my failure to understand or handle this situation. I don’t have any answers for the homeless recession victims whom I am sure God loves. While I live the American dream, they live the American nightmare. I don’t know what the city of Sacramento should do with the people of the tent city anymore than I know what LA should do for the people in Skid Row, but something must be done. I know that I cannot say that someone else will do it. If God is speaking to me about this, it’s for a reason. I still probably need to be able to understand theological concepts like election if I ever want to graduate, but I would rather know people whom God loves. I also know that as I write this it is glaringly obvious that I do not know the name of the man that I see several times a week in the same place. I should probably remedy that. There are as many as 80,000 homeless people in LA County. What do I do with that? I don’t know, but I know where one of them will be.

Operation Fresh Water Fundraiser

2009-03-12T20:55:00.000-07:00

Today I had the privilege of joining my friends Isaac and Drew on a short trip to Western Christian High School in West Covina. The school is only a few blocks away from Life Pacific, and Isaac has a connection with one of the teachers there. We were invited to the chapel and Isaac was able to tell his story to the students of Western. Isaac is a Kenyan who came to California to go to Bible College. He has begun a project that is his opportunity to give back to the community he came from. The town of Burlagate, Kenya is in need of a sustainable water source since they are outside of the provision of the municipal water supply in Nanyuki, Kenya. Isaac is raising funds to drill a well in Burlagate. This is a difficult project because there are not other non-profit companies that drill in Kenya. Generally speaking, Kenya has a sufficient water supply. Since this particular community is in need and no one else can drill this well, the costs are much higher than in other countries. Still Isaac has been pursuing this goal for some time, and every dollar counts. Today we sold water bottles with custom labels on them. For every bottle sold, 100% of the profit goes to drill this borehole. If you are interested in any more details you can check out his website. This project needs your support and I have greatly enjoyed working with Isaac. Contact him if you have any creative ideas or would like to be involved. I plan on posting any updates whenever Operation Fresh Water organizes any more fundraisers.

Photos of my life in Pasadena

2009-03-06T22:22:00.000-08:00

I just thought I'd post some photos of life here in Pasadena. I like it here. I have good friends and good neighbors. Take a look at the pictures if you like. You can also check out the link to all my photos under my picture to the right. If you are so inclined that is.

Life in the "Dirty Dena"

What kind of man am I?

2009-03-05T22:46:00.000-08:00

I was reading a story for my pastoral ministry class the other day and it became something more than just interesting concepts or practical insights. God spoke to me. He spoke to me about what kind of man I want to be. What kind of man he wants me to be.
The story was written by a pastor named, Robertson McQuilkin. He used to be the president of Columbia Bible College and Seminary in South Carolina. He left the college after his wife was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. He left so that he could take care of her. The article was about his choice between ministry and his family. In the end he concluded that it wasn’t much of a choice because the college needed more than a part-time distracted leader and he had made a vow to his wife. Even though it was probably very difficult to care for a woman who no longer understood who he was or who she was, he called taking care of her a delight. He said that he did not have to take care of her… he got to take care of her. As her mind began to fade she still knew that she loved him and she lived in happy oblivion to everything else.
As I read the article I put myself first in McQuilkin’s place and then in his wife’s place. I concluded that I want to be the kind of man that gets to take care of his wife when she can’t take care of herself. It is not that I would ever desire such a difficult situation, but if it ever came, I want to know that I would do what is right, and I would love that way. I think I would. That’s where God was speaking to me. I’ve often thought about marriage, even though I rarely admit it. Usually my conclusion is that I need to stop looking for a wife and focus on being a man worth marrying. As I read this story, I began to realize that even though I have much farther to go, I am beginning to become that man. I realized that I could love this way, not because I’m good enough, but because God has done something in me. He has changed me. He is continuing to change me and I am sure I have a lot to deal with before I am ready for marriage, but I have definitely changed. I also put myself in the place of the author’s wife. I can’t imagine the feelings of helplessness that would come with this kind of illness. I want to know that whoever I marry would stand by me if something like this ever happened. Unfortunately, I have no idea where this woman is. I don’t think I can go looking for her though. I realize that the willingness to love unconditionally isn’t simply a trait I need to look for in a woman, it’s something I need to live out. I need to be able to love unconditionally.
That is what struck me so hard when I was reading this story. The author loved his wife unconditionally. I know that’s something that seems obvious and we all act like it’s what we mean when we say, “I do.” But I don’t know if we understand the implications of something like this. She was no longer anything she was when he married her. He had to watch his wife slowly die. She was no longer the vibrant, creative, articulate person he knew and loved. So am I looking for a vibrant, creative, articulate woman, or am I looking to be a loving and committed man?

The "Day Off" is a "Bastard Sabbath"

2009-03-01T13:30:00.000-08:00

For most people, a day off is nothing more than a day to rest so that one is more efficient during the rest of the week. Eugene Peterson in his book, Working the Angles, calls this day off a “bastard Sabbath.” It is a twisted misrepresentation of the gift that is the Sabbath. The Sabbath is intended to be more than a pragmatic rest to improve efficiency.
The Sabbath is a gift from God, but we have to accept it. On my Sabbath I want to rest, but more than that, I want to regain my rhythm. As an awkward white guy, I have no musical rhythm and everyone knows it. Still, life has a rhythm to it, even mine. For most of us it is a fast rhythm. On the Sabbath we slow down and our hearts and lives move in rhythm of God’s work in the world. God’s rhythm, in contrast to our culture and the sub-culture of the American church, is not a fast rhythm. Maybe it shouldn’t be described as slow, but it I would say it seems more deliberate. My life doesn’t feel very deliberate most days. It feels rushed and hectic. So I want a day off. I want to rest so that my body has energy to accomplish all the things I ask of it during the week. But I don’t get to have that sort of day off. Instead of resting so that I am more efficient, I need to choose to kill the rhythm of my life and adopt God’s rhythm at least once a week. I don’t know how to do this yet…

Walk to the Park by Amy Seeley

2009-02-24T22:51:00.000-08:00

Walk to the park and take a minute
Maybe some fresh air will help clear our heads

I have seen way too much this month
These grievances take from us... they take

Been realistic about love
Been optimistic about the weather
But i’ve been complacent bout us
So maybe it’s time

We walk to the park and take a minute
To rewrite the map

For the thousandth time we make our revisions
It’s not enough
Just to wonder if... if... if

Been realistic about love
Been optimistic about the weather
But i’ve been complacent bout us
So maybe it’s time

We walk to the park and take a minute
Decide today to change our minds

The Idea Camp is next weekend. Get ready for the unconference.

2009-02-19T21:28:00.000-08:00

The Idea Camp is a FREE, open source hybrid conference designed to help people move from the realm of ideas to implementation.

The Idea camp is coming up next weekend. I'm really looking forward to this event. I hate conferences, but I think this will be a creative and fun opportunity to learn from some really interesting leaders. This is not a normal conference. Instead it is an unconference. There will be much discussion and the focus is on the participants, not the speakers. I hope to learn a lot, and I'm sure I will. My favorite part about the whole thing is that there will be no booths or annoying things like that. I'm actually more excited about that than the fact that it is free. Here's the info: Check out the website for more.

Dates: February 27-28, 2009
Cost: Absolutely FREE!
Location: New Song Irvine (www.newsong.net/irvine) - 18842 Teller Ave Irvine, CA 92612

A Reflection on Recent Events at Pasadena Foursquare

2009-02-11T23:29:00.000-08:00

At Pasadena Foursquare Church this Sunday, my pastor Ralph Torres began his sermon by retelling the story of Rosa Parks and the events that sparked the civil rights movement. This story was not an attempt to connect the sermon with current holidays, February being Black History Month, but rather it was birthed out of the life of our church. On the Wednesday prior to this Sunday, our church installed new elders. One of the elders was not able to be there on time, and missed the ceremony. Our church is diverse as the city we are in, Pasadena. This particular church elder was a black woman. Pastor Ralph at the end of the installation service told the story of Rosa Parks and then redid the installation service in its entirety for our elder who was late. His point was that the world has told some of us that we are worth less than others. In the life of the church this is not true. The late elder, regardless of race, was as important as every other elder who was able to be there for the ceremony. The impact of this impromptu speech on Wednesday carried over into Sunday and on Sunday Pastor Ralph made the point that our theology must penetrate and change our lives and our community. It is not enough to believe that all people are created in the image of God; we must show people that they are created in God’s image.

The first thing I can take from this Sunday’s sermon is a leadership principle. Sermons do not come from a vacuum of thought. They are not intended to simple be inspirational or concerned with clarifying doctrine. Even when sermons do accomplish those things that is not the priority. The sermon must have purpose and context. The purpose and context come from the life of the church. If the sermon has no meaning to the people who are hearing it, then it should not be said.

The second and equally important application I found for myself is to be sure that my theology affects lives. I have learned a great deal of information at Life Pacific College, and I love studying the Bible. But if my education ends and my life has not changed, there will not have been a point to my studies. Our beliefs about God should change not only us, but everyone we come into contact with.

Beautiful Tensions Part 2

2009-02-05T19:46:00.000-08:00

So I wrote an entry a while back entitled "Beautiful Tensions." It was about the fact that we don't have all the answers about God, but we know some things. I tried to deal with suffering a little bit, since it seems to be that God is good, yet people suffer. I concluded that this is difficult for me emotionally, but the difficult of trying to hold those things in tension is what makes God beautiful. If God made sense would we be able to legitimately believe?
In the past week I seem to have come across another beautiful tension. In my theology class we are addressing Christology and we are trying to deal with what it means for Jesus to be fully human and fully divine. The incarnation (Jesus, who is God coming to earth in human form) is a difficult thing to deal with. It doesn't make a lot of sense. There are some theories that try to explain it, but as Charles Lee like to say, "At the end of the day..." they just don't work. Jesus doesn't make sense. Jesus, the Christ, is both fully human and fully divine. He is God, yet he is also human. Honestly I don't feel like that is a good enough explanation. It is illogical. It is unreasonable. It is irrational. It cannot be explained. And that's what make it true. I'm at Bible college trying to find answers. I want to be sure about what I believe, especially if I'm going to presume to be able to teach this stuff to others. But in this situation I have found two truths, and I don't know how to make them make sense. Jesus is human and Jesus is God. All I can do is hold these two truths in a delicate tension and worship God for how beautiful he is.

Body found frozen in ice with feet sticking out like popsicle sticks

2009-02-03T23:08:00.000-08:00

I saw this picture on a blog about homelessness a few days ago and it wont seem to leave me. I'm sorry if my posting this bothers you. It's a tough picture to look at. But honestly, no one is going to read my blog. I'm not posting for the millions of readers out there, I'm just dealing with this stuff.
Anyway, this body was found in Detroit. The guy was probably homeless and had probably been there a while. No one seems to care. No one is talking about it. Its not getting headlines. The only reason anyone cared about this body is that the state of it is ridiculous. In case this post isnt making sense, you can read the full article, but this body was found frozen in ice with his feet sticking up like a popsicle. I am not sure how I am supposed to feel about this. Is compassion the right response? Anger? Frustration? Indifference? Sorry for the nonsensical post. it is what it is.

Consider the Ravens by Dustin Kensrue

2009-01-17T15:26:00.000-08:00

I've got bills to pay
Taxman on my tail
Just keep prayin' that
the check's in the mail

There are times it seems
when everything's lost
and I'm moaning, I'm tossed
and I see..

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

I've grown sick and tired
of trying to stand still
I've learned to let the wind
pull me where it will

Throw myself into
the will of the wait
I can never be great
'til we're free

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

Although I'm walking through
the valley of the shadow of death
evils all around
It's coming from the right and the left

Trust that I will see
the glory above
Oh, your banner of love
flies over me

between the river and the ravens I'm fed
between oblivion and the blazes I'm led
So father give me faith, providence and grace
Between the river and ravens I'm fed
Sweet deliver, oh you lift up my head
and lead me in your way

Hands Open by Snow Patrol

2009-01-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

It's hard to argue when
you won't stop making sense
But my tongue still misbehaves and it
keeps digging my own grave with my

Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

Why would I sabotage
the best thing that I have
Well, it makes it easier to know
exactly what I want with my...

Hands open and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
that your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

Put Sufjan Stevens on
and we'll play your favorite song
"Chicago" bursts to life and your
sweet smile remembers you, my

Hands open, and my eyes open
I just keep hoping
That your heart opens

It's not as easy as willing it all to be right
Gotta be more than hoping it's right
I wanna hear you laugh like you really mean it
Collapse into me, tired with joy

Beautiful Tensions

2009-01-11T20:45:00.000-08:00

This New Year's Eve among all the fun, I found myself in an interesting conversation. One of my friends had some interesting questions about God. None of us really had any answers, but it we came to a place where we could all marvel at God’s beauty. We had trouble coming to conclusions because every answer ignored something we knew to be true about God. For instance one of us was concerned about where evil could come from if God is good. Christians believe that God is a benevolent, omnipotent creator. Since God created everything, and the reality of the existence of evil is undeniable, we must conclude that God created evil. If God created evil how could he be good? If God did not create evil, then evil created itself, and evil must be God. We came to agree that evil must not be a thing to be created, but rather an expression used to describe certain choices. Still these choices bring about suffering. When we make an evil choice, we cause suffering, but what should we say about seemingly random suffering? Is it sent by God?

Israel’s worship reflected an understanding of God’s goodness despite the suffering they had experienced. They understood that God was their deliverer and that he loved them (Psalm 109:21). The author of Lamentations says that both good and calamity come from God, but that God is good to those whose hope is in him (Lamentations 3:25-38). Can it be true that suffering could come from God? The death of Jesus had a greater purpose, but it required him to suffer. The suffering that Jesus endured was not deserved by him, but it served God’s greater purpose. God used Christ’s death to atone for all who would place their faith in Him (Romans 3:25-26). Sometimes God is the source of suffering, often he is not, but it seems he always has a purpose. While this is not always a comfort, we can rejoice in suffering because of the hope we have in God (Romans 5:3).

This conclusion requires us to hold two truths in a delicate tension. God is the source of some of our suffering, yet he is good. We can speculate all we want on what this might mean, but if we use these two truths as our boundaries, our conclusions remain true to the biblical witness.

Our goal in the discussion was not to come to an orthodox conclusion necessarily. We didn’t even presume to think we could propose any satisfactory answers, but when we came to the conclusion that the answer required us to hold a delicate tension we could only marvel at the beauty of God. We couldn’t find God in the orthodox and logical answer, but we found him in the beautiful tensions of truth.

New Year's Eve by Five Iron Frenzy

2008-12-31T12:04:00.000-08:00

It's New Years Eve and I'm full of empty promises,
I half pretend to keep this time, just like last year.
The band is loud and I'm wandering the shadows,
wishing I was never here.
I persevere.
A crowded room, these whitewashed tombs,
they raise their glasses high, they kiss the past goodbye.

This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow.
My heart is on my sleeve,
and yes I still believe, this New Years Eve,
will turn out better than before,
I'm holding on, still holding out,
until they close the door... on me.

It's New Years Eve and I feel my insecurities,
are haunting me like ghosts, this sinking quicksand.
And then with thunderous praise and lofty adoration,
a second passes by, yet nothing changes.
I hate my skin, this grave I'm standing in.
Another change of years, and I wish I wasn't here.

A year goes by and I'm staring at my watch again,
and I dig deep this time,
for something greater than I've ever been,
life to ancient wineskins.
And I was blind but now I see.

This New Years Eve, something must change me inside,
I'm crooked and misguided, and tired of being tired.
This New Years Eve, I'm waiting for tomorrow.
My heart is on my sleeve, and yes I still believe, in You.

Bass Pro Shops are a monument to death and consumerism

2008-12-26T22:08:00.000-08:00

So on my first night back in Manteca, Cameron and I went to the new Bass Pro Shops. I don't really know why. I guess we felt we had nothing better to do, and I had not been there because it was still being built when I left. I Knew this place was big and I expected a certain level of ridiculousness, but I was not prepared for what I encountered. Bass Pro Shops is a monument to death. There were animals everywhere. They were stuffed, but they were not cuddly. Naturally we took a few pictures. I have never seen such a crazy store before. It could only be described as hicktastic, and I'm not far from being a bit of a hick myself. This place is a cross of redneck culture and consumer culture, and it represents all that is America.

After going to the Bass Pro Shops, we went to visit a particular house that has for some reason become a tradition for Cameron and I to visit at Christmas. This place is the most heavily decorated house in Manteca. There are lights everywhere. Their electrical bill must be insane. Until seeing the monument of death and debt that is Bass Pro Shops I thought this house was the most startling symbol of waste in Manteca. The time and energy put into the decorating of this house could power the entire town. And if thousands of lights were not enough, the homeowners politely remind the city to "Keep the Christ in Christmas" and that God blesses America.

All in all, I have missed my hometown. The place is crazy, but its home. Things have changed a bit, and I'm sure things will continue to change, but somehow it still feels like Christmas. Check out the pictures from tonight for a quick laugh.

Bass Pro Shops

Man in Santa suit goes on shooting rampage in Covina

2008-12-25T13:07:00.000-08:00

In a bizarre Christmas Eve rampage, a 45-year-old man opened fire at a party in a Los Angeles suburb. The suspect later killed himself, police said.

Did this seriously just happen? A man went on a shooting rampage last night on Christmas Eve. He was dressed as Santa Claus. This was in Covina which is just a couple of miles from our school. I don't even know what to say about this.
Read the article, it speaks for itself.

It Is Well With My Soul

2008-12-23T22:26:00.000-08:00

When peace like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, Thou hast taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

It is well, with my soul,
It is well, with my soul,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

My sin, oh, the bliss of this glorious thought!
My sin, not in part but the whole,
Is nailed to the cross, and I bear it no more,
Praise the Lord, praise the Lord, O my soul!

And Lord, haste the day when my faith shall be sight,
The clouds be rolled back as a scroll;
The trump shall resound, and the Lord shall descend,
Even so, it is well with my soul.

Life Mission Ignotion?

2008-12-20T13:07:00.000-08:00

So, I don't mean to be critical, but I noticed the other day that the logo design for Foursquare's new missions training thing looks a little funny. Ignite is brand new, this is their first year. I wish them the best, and I hope it turns out to be a solid program, especially since I have a friend in the program. I don't really get what Ignite does, but I dig their little tagline/motto thing. "Ignite: Life-Mission Ignition." I'm not sure why I dig it though... Maybe because it rhymes? Anyway, back to the original thought... the logo... it looks like it says "Ignote." Seriously? Does no one else see this?

With Love, The Underground by Thought Riot

2008-12-19T17:37:00.000-08:00

Hands up!
Black listed, discarded in ignorance,
But our wings grow stronger everyday
And so do our hearts with every hope.
Tempered with compassion and an intellect:
Here's our anger! Here's our rage!
Rage!

And behold the revolution,
Here in the hearts of you and I.
Yeah we hold the revolution, in our songs.
In our songs!

Tipping scales and offering solutions,
Painting pictures to burn and then repaint
With brighter colours on the canvas.
Energized by music, love and life:
With fists high we sing into the night!
The night!

And behold the revolution,
Here in the hearts of you and I.
Yeah we hold the revolution, in our songs.
In our songs!

Sing, loud!... Dance, hard!
Soar, high! And without restraint.
Think deep! And question all,
And question all!

And behold the revolution,
Here in the hearts of you and I.
Yeah we hold the revolution!
And the hope for a brighter today,
A hope we cultivate out of the decay.
We are the future, come today!

Shameless Plug for our Kenyan Water Well Project

2008-10-03T20:25:00.000-07:00

Take a moment to check out Operation Fresh Water if you haven't already. OFW is a new non-profit that is just starting up. It was created by Isaac, another student at LPC. The goal of this organization is to drill a water well in Kenya near his hometown. We have been raising money for a while and we are only just getting off the ground. We have a temporary website up, but check back soon because I am hoping to finish the new one as soon as possible.